the universal loss of 5 minutes

my cellphone clatters to the floor, followed by the thunk a water bottle and then the clash of keys against the cold linoleum. I'm running late again. somehow i am gathering my things at 9:36, i rush out the door after collecting my trail of clumsy left-behinds and by the time i make the 30 foot trek to my frosted vehicle, the clock reads 9:47. not possible.

somewhere in the universe 5 minutes is stolen. some cosmic force swoops down and snatches it from my grip countless times each day. hence, i am always, without fail, 5 minutes late. it's a true injustice and completely unfair to already scatter brained types such as myself. cut me a break. i should be granted 5 minutes in all fairness. the math just doesn't add up. there must be a scientific explaination for this, but really i suppose time just isn't on my side. it holds a grudge.