Thursday, December 15, 2005

to shine as stars

And yet again, I find myself hit head on with a very humbling experience.

I have been called to be grateful, to watch my words against my neighbor, even the person i dislike the most, and to praise God always. I have been guilty of practicing none of these qualities as of late, and I am ashamed.

I want share the following passage with you because it is something we all need to hear and take to heart. I have been discouraged b/c of where I am at, where I am and where I am- at present- NOT going. What is life for? It is all futile if lived in vain ambition, if it is not to serve an eternal purpose.

With Christmas as the only upcoming certainty in my future, this piece of Phillipians 2 resonated with me. What a powerful portrait of He who humbled himself in the most raw and horrific way possible.

If you words are pure and your way is blameless, let this be a simple reminder of the miracle of Christ coming to earth.

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. "

I soberly hang my head, but i rejoice within.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


i am alone. alot. this comes from working alone (well, with my boss but he either disappears for hours on end or, if he is actually here, sits in his office cranking out subpar design) and from living at a quite a distance from all my friends.

last night as i was driving to alpha, the dark rainy road seemed especially devoid of other cars, and even when there was scattered traffic, even at the arrival of the stream of white lights that is rush hour... i felt i was the only person in the world. the only alive, real, existing person. it was an oddly comfortin feling for amoment- not lonely or depressive. i have gotten so used to the company of myself and myself alone, all else seems obtrusive and taxing.

i have decided though, that as much as i value the company of a select few, being alone with one self is a beautiful. you can take that self with you anywhere, over time. if you arent bored with who you are, or limited in the creativity of your imagination or simple amusements conjured by necessity... than you are all set for wherever life takes you or whatever it deals you.

all i need is a bigger music collection and the open road is mine.