Friday, April 28, 2006

the point of intersection

when two universes run parallel, at one poignant and perfect moment they collide in a simple interaction, an intesection of you and me and this time there's nothing in between and here we are. there it is. all is always now. there is no such thing as coincidence. just the dipping in and out of these universes in occasional touch and go kisses and the fleeting recognition of it all.

my vagueness is overwhelming, but at this point (so to speak) it's the thrill of the words, the roll of the tongue, the clicking of keys, the inherent rhyme... don't fault me for this. i'm a prosiac.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

the texture of the sky

today the sky was eerily gray and textured, which i found to be somehow beautiful. as i drove north on I-93, where they are doing many road repairs, i approached the rough, grooved pavement. the roar of the vibration shook me to the realization that the texture of the sky could best be described as that of grooved pavement. between the two surfaces of earth and sky i felt i was moving along two parallel universes. like music and memory– two very separate entities with their own purposes– but together achieving a synergistic value that totally obliterates the need for drug use. the power of memory and dreams and the confusion of reality with the unconscious mind is a trip in itself that cannot be replicated by any other means.

so i crawled out from under my blanket of grooved stratosphere into the comfort of a home that is not mine, put on my new favorite song and indulged in favorite foods. it is raining now and the wet streets do not beckon. i am alive and it is the simple moments that are the most perfect reminder of that.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

mercurial emotions: on the rise

i finally am reconnecting with that which has been somehow absent and evasive: emotion. I have experienced frustration, exhaustion, confusion, and anxiety. These should fall under a new category that is yet to be named, but should reflect the lack of depth such feelings possess, and the negativity they impart.

recently i have regained sensitivity to the powerful and been moved by the subtle and the deeply spirtual. these encounters have been increasingly frequent, even to the point of tears which i so rarely let flow, and i must question the why.

is it because i have come closer to God? it is like love in that if you choose to love someone each day, if you put love into practice, that soon emotions will ensue as a waterfall to dry rocks? patience and perseverance, when serving God, never goes unrewarded. a choice of devotion, of putting an effort into talking to God and seeking His words, of listening in the silence of waiting and hoping- will soon burst forth in a wave of emotion, of truly being in love with Christ.

i believe such patience and perseverance through the apathy, the aggravating and the weariness of life's trials will be rewarded with a renewal of hope, a depth of feeling and a love for the truly sacred. this i have found for a moment and will cherish it.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

the universal loss of 5 minutes

my cellphone clatters to the floor, followed by the thunk a water bottle and then the clash of keys against the cold linoleum. I'm running late again. somehow i am gathering my things at 9:36, i rush out the door after collecting my trail of clumsy left-behinds and by the time i make the 30 foot trek to my frosted vehicle, the clock reads 9:47. not possible.

somewhere in the universe 5 minutes is stolen. some cosmic force swoops down and snatches it from my grip countless times each day. hence, i am always, without fail, 5 minutes late. it's a true injustice and completely unfair to already scatter brained types such as myself. cut me a break. i should be granted 5 minutes in all fairness. the math just doesn't add up. there must be a scientific explaination for this, but really i suppose time just isn't on my side. it holds a grudge.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

more thoughts on the rolling sea

it is in the interim periods that life evolves- that inspiration lays dormant until the climax of many things: the unexpected, the long-awaited and the eagerly hoped for. Once the sea breathes deeper: when relationships surge and others crash to the shore... it is the rising pulse that inspires, and the aftermath that gets it down in writing- the poem of the calm before the next wave of emotion that will leave you exhausted and breathless as you surface from the blow.

when is the interim? you can never see it until you look back and realize there was a pause. the pause is boredom and anxiety, the pause that is unrealized or appreciated until you are being spun upside down by a wave of drama or confusion that has knocked you from behind, off your feet. Your mouth is full of salt water and it's a moment before you realize what's going on, and it isn't until you can breathe again that you figure out what happened. it's in the half-spin that you realize your in trouble, and getting out ain't gonna be pretty.

getting out is never pretty, especially when you're taken by surprise. or are you? if you're swimming in the ocean, there's gonna be waves.

Monday, April 03, 2006


the divorce of a love, a job, a guilty pleasure, a punishment fullfilled and a promise renewed... all so gradual and peaceable. life is like the endless rolling sea: calm and distressed

Sunday, April 02, 2006

deep inside

there's something to be said about descending to deeper levels of relationship. with a piece of music, a work of art or the soul of a person: each is to be treated with a delicate sense of understanding. there is of course the initial attraction- to the tune, the subject or the personality. if one is invited by desire beyond this point, than the next level must be breached with a sense of curiosity, a devotion to discovery and carefree open-mindedness. getting to know something is a process and a commitment.

there are some pieces of music that i was raptured with at first listen, then as you spend time with it and begin to really hear the notes and understand the composition, the love for the piece grows and is deepened.

the same is true with art. i have had countless experiences with a work of art where i was ready to write it off b/c i hadn't taken the devoted the effort to researching the artist, the techniques and the motives behind the piece. once i understood why certain brush strokes or colors were used, or what the artist intended, i had a whole new appreciation and relationship with that work of art.

a talented artist once answered the age old question in a most believable way: "art is defined by intention". i carry the same truth into the light of relationships. intention.

why are you spending time with someone, what are you really after and are you willing to make the effort to get to know that person, to devote understanding and open-mindedness to their person, to their soul. you cannot write someone off until you give them this chance. and you cannot allow yourself to be sized up without the same depth of intention.